WARNING: This story contains graphic language.
Chris Brown’s new documentary Chris Brown: Welcome to My Life was released on Aug. 8, and on Monday, a clip from the documentary was shared online of the singer going into detail about the night he was arrested for physically assaulting Rihanna in 2009.
After pleading guilty to felony assault of then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009, Brown’s career and personal life took a hit after the viciousness of the assault was made public. He was sentenced to five years’ probation and six months of community service for the crime, but according to Brown, further unseen punishment was going on behind the scenes.
Brown addresses the violent incident in the documentary (which took place in a car and produced photographic evidence for the world to see), saying he was “thinking about suicide” and spiralling into heavy drug use.
In the clip, Brown talks about the first time the pair met, how they started dating and the first time they said “I love you.”
The Run It singer goes into detail about how their relationship was strained after he admitted he’d lied about being a with another girl before their relationship.
“My trust totally was lost with her,” Brown says in the documentary. “She hated me after that. I tried everything, she didn’t care. She just didn’t trust me after that. From there, it just went downhill because there were too many verbal fights, physical fights as well. Mutual sides. It is the first time I get to say anything. I still love Rihanna.”
He continues: But I’m just going to be honest. We would fight each other. She would hit me, I would hit her and it never was OK. It was always a point to where we talk about it like, ‘What the f**k are we doing?’”
When discussing the incidents that took place following a night at the pre-Grammys Clive Davis party in 2009, the Privacy singer says that a previous issue in their relationship came to light that night.
He says that the woman he had previously lied to Rihanna about was also at the party and came up to say hello to the couple. That allegedly didn’t sit well with Rihanna.
“I look over at Rihanna and she’s bawling, she’s crying… the ceremony was about to start and I was like ‘yo, yo, yo please babe don’t do this in here like I didn’t know I promise.’”
After the run in, Brown says Rihanna got over it and the pair started drinking at the party and then they left.
By Brown’s account, he let Rihanna look through his phone after they left the party and she saw that the woman had texted him.
“I gave her the phone. She looks at the phone and there’s a message that says ‘kill the Grammys, do your thing’ and I didn’t read the rest of the message. I didn’t open it. So she opened the message and the rest of the message said ‘I’ll see you at the Clive party.’ So off top she thought I was lying,” Brown says
He continues: “She starts going off, she throws the phone…’I hate you.’
“She hits me a couple more times… I remember she tried to kick me, but then I really hit her, with a closed fist, I punched her. I busted her lip. When I saw it, I was in shock. I was like, ‘F**k’ why the hell did I hit her? From there she just spit in my face, spit blood in my face and it enraged me even more,” Brown says of the 2009 incident.
“I bite her arm as I’m still trying to drive, it was like a petty, stupid fight,” Brown says.
He recalls that he pulled over at Hancock Park because he was trying to resolve the situation.
At that point, Brown says, Rihanna took the keys and yelled, “Help, he’s trying to kill me.”
“I look back at that picture, and I’m like, ‘That’s not me, bro, that’s not me,’” Brown says of the photo of Rihanna’s injuries. “I hate it to this day. That’s going to haunt me forever.”
Brown says that he “felt like a f***ing monster” after the fight took place that night.
Chris Brown: Welcome To My Life is now out on DVD, Blu-Ray and iTunes.
If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help, resources are available. In case of an emergency, please call 911 for immediate help.
© 2017 Global News, a division of Corus Entertainment Inc.